Things In RPGs That Never Make Sense
Look, I get that video games are not necessarily bound by the laws of reality, but there are some things that persist through almost any traditional RPG that have had me scratching my head for years. We are all familiar with classic tropes, such as the amnesiac protagonist. But those kinds of tropes deserve a separate list for another time. Today we’re looking at some things that you’ve surely noticed before, but typically are not brought to the forefront of a typical conversation. There are bound to be lots of these but I will only be covering a few today, so please be sure to mention other ones down below.
Maximum Occupancy: Exceeded
Have you ever stopped and noticed how many people are in a town in comparison to the actual number of houses in it? It is hilarious because even the smallest of hamlets can sometimes be home to dozens of people, but are lucky to have two homes and an Inn. And upon speaking to those folks, they all converse in a way that leads you to believe they are genuine residents of the area. But how? I’m not so sure that the three bed Inn helps with the housing situation whatsoever. Does everyone just sleep under the stars, like the pioneers used to do? Inquiring minds want to know.
The overpopulation in towns is further complicated by the horrid trickery that is interior design. How is it that you go into a four story building and it is a studio apartment on the inside? How come there is a six-person, upper-class family that clearly lives in a mansion from the outside, but literally lives out of a prepper’s dream tiny house from the inside? The world may never know.
The Pointless Rescue Mission
Ah, the rescue mission. You know, the one that has you extracting a “helpless” NPC from a dangerous area. But after fighting through encounter after encounter to reach them, they tip their hat and make their own way back to safety. Like, could you have not just up and left for home before? I don’t see how my dozen or so fights made any difference in the safety of the area for you, but whatever, I guess.
Last but not least is everyone’s favorite type of activity: the kill quest. How is it, sir or ma’am, that you know precisely how many boars need to be culled? And why is it that only 10 will suffice, no more and no less? Apparently, Jimmy the farmer is an expert on wildlife population statistics because he’s had one-too-many run-ins with the dire wolves, and now tasks you with bringing their numbers back in balance. And Lord knows that Jimmy knows best.
Potentially even worse than that are the collection quests that are based on killing. You know the type: “collect five bear pelts” that actually takes 20 bears to fulfill. Generic quest giver #1 did not say anything about them being pristine or anything, so why is a mass slaughter of bears needed to hand in five hides?
What are some things you’ve noticed that never make sense in RPGs?